been a while, eh
It's been 43 days since I submitted my program's final capstone project and thesis; 81pp, 23,700w + a 21pp visual/text 21pp project 👀
My last post here was in the chaotic, mad throes of the final couple of weeks just before I submitted. I still can’t believe I made it to submission day. There is always something to do, check, rewrite, or a citation needing correction. Final projects are never really where you want them to be when you hit submit.
I wanted to post the day I submitted … and then the day after … in fact the amount of drafts I’ve accumulated in the last 43 days is comical. They only ever hovered around half-formed thoughts while I oscillated between waves of mental and emotional fatigue. At first, I was maintained by adrenaline and then came the crash. It’s only been in the past few days that I feel I’m actually starting to pull out of the waves.
While I am not entirely finished with my program (I have some practicum hours left to get) I am completely finished all coursework and assignments; a reality that I can’t really comprehend right now.
As if on queue, as soon as my brain regains some space, I get swept up in those bigger meta-philosophical musings of what it means to walk through transition times well or what is rest or what does real REST look like for me, right now. I already have a list of profession-related books I want to read slowly before Sep and some shows/films I want to sink into.
These first 43 days were a haze of “brain mush” rest; barely knowing what was up or down, what day or time it was, and managing only the bare minimum for living and breathing. I did manage a few things:
🔸 Teaching, always still teaching ESL
🔸 I finished my reread of The Locked Tomb Series by Tamsyn Muir (3 of 4 published so far)
🔸 I reread The Captives War by James S. A. Corey (2 of 3 published so far + 1 novella)
🔸 S01 of Ponies
🔸 S01 of True Detective
🔸 S01 of Memory of a Killer
🔸 S01 of Steal
🔸 S01 of Doctor Foster
🔸 the OG first Avatar film.
I guess this post is a bit of “oh, hey, I’m still here” along with a dash of “expect more frequent posts”. I see it also commemorating the shift from “brain mush” rest to a more active & restorative kind of rest, which is good.
All your blogs, posts, thoughts, vents, and photos kept me going through it all - so thanks for posting, friends =)
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