on whimsy
You know that feeling when you're brimming with excitement about doing "a thing"? You feel energized and motivated and just happy. So you sit down and do the thing... and then it's like all the reality of the world falls on you. It's not what you saw in your head. Or it feels bad. Or it turns out to be way harder than you thought. And just like that, the excitement's gone, and you're left disheartened.
Wrestling with watercolour lately has put this cycle on repeat for me. My brain thinks it's already holding the finished thing, like a boss, but it hasn't even touched a brush or pen yet. This "knowing" (*aka - assuming how it will go*) narrows it down too far, too fast, and into something far too specific; a magically finished product that doesn't even exist. And well, there's the problem; not that what I created doesn't match my mind's eye, but that I'm holding too tightly to that imagined, magically acquired finished product in my head. When I realized that my frustration and disheartenment stopped me from sketching and watercoloring, I knew I had to fix "it", *whatever "it" was*, and just get back to arting....but how.whimsy(n.)
"capricious notion or fancy," c. 1600, probably related to whimwham
whimwham(n.)
also whim-wham, "whimsical device, trifle, plaything, toy," 1520s, a word of unknown origin; perhaps from Scandinavian (compare Old Norse hvima "to let the eyes wander," Norwegian kvima "to flutter")
So maybe loosening is the key, to stop the narrowing and thus the disheartenment and frustration. And so that's what I tried..."fluttering" and "letting my eyes wander" creatively speaking. Chasing whimsy.
Like a small rebellion, I leaned back into what I've always loved: urban sketching, architecture, perspective, instead of feeling like I had to do what I "should" be doing to learn watercolor. Turns out architecture and perspective have always been a space that excites me. This past week I suddenly flashed back to little me in grade 4 learning to draft the blueprints for the objects we'd make in shop class. I was happiest and most myself drawing those drafts.
I'm too hard on myself (in all areas), but especially creatively speaking. It's full-time work to be reminding myself to creatively "flutter" and give myself the space to get back up and keep going when I feel like I've failed. With watercolor, what appears loose and casual is often some of the most technically difficult in the medium. I want to stay excited to reach that point and not disheartened that I can't yet.
Chase whimsy friends, and keep crackin' on.
sidenotes • ·· • —– • ·· • —–
Etymology from this glorious website